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If You Struggle with Overspending, Do This.

Many of us struggle with overspending. It’s just too easy to overspend these days, especially with social media marketing having such sophisticated targeting technology. You can just say aloud “Tiffany’s,” and Instagram will show a Tiffany’s ad on your feed literally the next minute. (This for realsies, truly happened to me when speaking to a coworker about engagement rings… Wild.) Today, I’m being bombarded with shapewear ads as a new mom. Social media’s listening, y’all…

Food is the number one category that many of my clients struggle with in the overspending realm, and this makes total sense. From the bottom to the top, the costs to make food are expensive – the growing of it, the shipping of it, the labor of it, the materials and supplies needed to make it; everything about the food production chain.

And we as consumers get the brunt end of the cost stick. We’re absorbing those increased expenses with wages that haven’t grown fast enough to catch up with inflation and the rising costs of living.

These are contributing factors that are just completely out of our control: our wages continue to stagnate despite rising inflation and the rising costs of living. How can we expect to maintain the lifestyles we had even just a few years ago when costs are rising with no end in sight and our wages aren’t close to catching up?


So, if you struggle with overspending, do this: Give yourself grace and space. The next moment that you feel yourself worrying about overspending, give yourself grace and space. Breathe through that discomfort and know that it will pass. Grace and space to you, who are working super hard to keep things together.

Whatever your definition of “overspending” (whether it’s spending over your projected budget, spending more than what you bring in income, that you just spend too much, etc.), even thinking of the word “overspending” may send some of us into a tizzy. It’s a negative buzzword in the world of personal finance. It’s seen as a BIG no-no, otherwise you’ll be unable to pay for rent or you’ll get into debt. Yes, both possible and both super stressful.

But I encourage you to see another perspective about overspending. You are working super hard to support yourself and your family and/or your community. We do not need anyone slapping our hands for overspending, most especially for absolute necessities like food and transportation. So many things, especially food and transportation, are so expensive nowadays for so many reasons out of our control.

This is a systemic issue. Our capitalistic, consumeristic society treats overspending as an individual problem, but this is simply not true. This perspective ignores the power structures that hoodwink us into overspending. We are marketed to consume without end. Our wages continue to stagnate. Cost of living continues to rise.

So again: Give yourself grace and space. You can overcome overspending and you can also overcome the incredible negativity that comes with the concept.

When the worries about overspending take over your mind, transform those worries into clouds in the sky of your mind. Those worry clouds – they’re temporary. They may appear as a full-on storm or even a tornado.

Anxiety or panic are easy to give into when you’re unsure of how to get through the storm in the moment. Counter this instinct and let those clouds float away instead. It may take some time to breathe through the storm, but take as much time as you need. Visualize your sky full of clouds making way for a bright blue, sunny sky.


Once more for the people in the back: Give yourself grace and space.

If you expected practical ways to curb your spending in this post, don’t you worry. I’ll be following with another post listing some practical steps to take to do this. I just wanted to first change our mindset around spending.

Lastly, you’re doing great. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.